Lost in Perveria: Chapter 1

Lost in Perveria

Chapter 1: Desire

On a gray and overcast February morning, the snow hung heavy on the power lines and tree limbs like that of the heart of one of the city’s lonely residents.  Clad only in light winter apparel, he stood victim to the winds that blustered through the streets.  More tatters than garments, he stood silently as he gripped a newly open letter between the fingers of his thread-worn gloves.  Silently, he read over the contents of the letter.

[Dear Mr. Linus Miller,

                We regret to inform you that the position for the job you have applied to has been filled or canceled.  We thank you for your interest in our company and hope that you update your files with us in case of an opening that suits your credentials.  We wish you the best luck with your current endeavors and future success.

Sincerely,

                Human Resources]    

Linus looked the message over a few more times before he crumpled the letter in his hand and let his arm fall limply to his side.  With a pained look he stared up at the sky, letting his brown eyes get lost in the clouds before closing them for self-reflection.  Bits of his unkempt brown hair framed the edge of his frayed winter hat.  Fighting the urge to curse loudly, he took a deep breath and sighed in a low and steady, drawn out stream of air.

He had failed… again.

This job marked just one in thousands that he had applied to only to get rejected, and it was at the breaking point.  In these hard economic times, money was little, and the opportunity to make it dwindled with each passing day.  He had already lost one of his jobs to that of someone from college who couldn’t find something higher.  It was a similar tune everywhere, better qualities for less pay, and someone like him without even a high school diploma was on the same level as illegal immigrants, except they didn’t have the paper trail. 

Of course, being raised at the orphanage meant no support from family as well.  Although the hope was to get adopted and taken in, he never was.  Years had passed him by only to reject him and a few of the others.  People didn’t have time, or they’d rather adopt a young girl whom they could raise as a doll.  Girls also had the fortune that they could work on the streets if need be, the power of their body was better than any education.  They could even get husbands and live a life as a housewife if they truly wanted to, not dropped from financial support after age 18 and told to live on their own like he had for over a year already. 

It wasn’t fair… if only he were taller and stronger, raised with a good education and family, then his physical nature wouldn’t be a hindrance.  Unlike some of the other guys at the orphanage, he had always been scrawny and thin.  Only 5’6” in height, he was a little shorter than the average height and his strength was lacking, making him unsuitable for most jobs that required heavy lifting capability, like in construction or warehouse work.  Well what did it matter, he pretty much failed at life.

At a noticeably cold wind gust, he began to move in no particular direction.  There was always the homeless shelter on 5^th and 8^th that he could go to, but he didn’t want to be marked like that.  Although he had once volunteered in one for the sake of free meals, it was another dead end.  Then there was box row on 11^th and Porter, but if he went there, even if it meant for shelter, then he was likely to stay there like any other bum.  So far he had managed with his other roommates, but they were unable to stay since the rent increased the day before, and he wasn’t able to find a new and affordable place with his lack of income.     

After walking for a bit, he finally arrived at the west river.  At this time of year it wasn’t great to look at, nor was it inviting with the massive mounding from the jammed ice flows, but it was his favorite view in the summer months.  Even now there was an odd comforting feeling about it, like a welcoming home.  He briefly even considered walking over and throwing himself in, but he wanted to make something of himself, not end his life pointlessly.

Pointless… his life really was just that.  He picked up something from the curve and threw it into the icy flow.  It bounced along the ice and plunked into the frigid waters.  He could say clearly that he preferred it being there rather than himself.  His fate was bound to another direction, he just couldn’t decide what.

With a sigh, he went across the street and situated himself on a stoop clear of snow and stared absently at the river.   It looked static, but lived a dynamic life that no one could see.  Perhaps, just maybe, he was similar.  Possibly there was some unseen life that he moved in, that wasn’t the nothingness that surrounded him. 

Yeah right, he decided as he closed his eyes and leaned back, there was nothing for him in this world. 

At that thought and that moment, something shifted the air and a low breeze feathered out from the alleyway beside him.  A warm wind accompanied a brilliant light glow that spilled into what should be an empty alley.  A rusty, metallic sound resonated in the air as though a gate was opening.  It was very odd. 

Unwilling to get up to investigate, Linus held his position as the sound of footfalls fell across the crusty snow, and a shadow from a figure got longer as it got closer to his vantage.  Soon the figure was in view and almost made him laugh loudly.  It was a very odd, somewhat short man that appeared, dressed in an oddly colored green and yellow suit with a red top hat.  It was very mismatched and rather gaudy.

The man – though his height would have placed him in the age range of a boy – had a middle aged man’s face, and curly blonde hair protruding out from under his hat.  He looked like an odd combination of Willy Wonka and a Munchkin, with the atmosphere of the Mad Hatter.  He held an extravagant gold pocket watch and looked around the area with searching blue eyes. 

The man swept the scenery and passed his eyes by Linus several times without pause.  Obviously confused, he tucked the watch away and pulled an odd chain from around his neck, balled it up, and held it in his hand for a moment before letting it drop, keeping the very end around his fingers.  Several metal arrows like watch hands were attached to the dangling end and bounced about before pointing in a set direction.  All of which, were pointing right at Linus.

“Huh,” the man uttered in a rough voice that seemed out of place.  He looked over at Linus and walked up to him, surveying him slowly with a calculating expression.   

“Oh, so it was you.”  The man mused aloud with a smile.  “It’s rather funny, because you don’t look the type.” 

He turned away and started to laugh softly to himself.  Confused Linus shrank back, trying to blend in with the building.  Where had this sideshow freak come from?  Didn’t he have a circus to return to? 

“Well,” the man huffed out of annoyance, “aren’t you coming?”  He shot a glare at Linus.

“Um, coming where?”  Linus asked uncertainly.  Staying on the cold stoop wasn’t doing him any favors, but this man seemed completely unnatural in every aspect. 

He smiled a creepy smile.  “To the land of desires,” he said mysteriously, “that’s the place you wanted to go isn’t it?” 

“I – me?”  Linus said unsure.  Certainly he wished for change, but what did he mean?  Better yet, why was he already on his feet and following?

“It varies on the degree of your desires, but it is your heart that calls out to the means to grant them.  People who are desperate enough to leave this world are given the option under the pretext of ‘change’ to violate the borders of reality.”  The man walked further into the alley and stopped before an opened pair of elaborate iron gates. 

The gates were like the kind that one would see at the end of the driveway to a grand estate, except they were tipped with golden, diamond shaped tops, and winding vines ran from the top to the bottom, like they were part of the gate rather than simple growth.  At the center of each door was half of a cog, like the ones found in large clock towers.  It was a very odd decoration.  Beyond the doors was only darkness, where there was supposed to be a building. 

Linus paused a good distance away from the open maw of the gate.  “You aren’t out to sell my organs or anything, are you?”  He asked the man suspiciously.

“Of course not,” he laughed, “Unless that is your desire, of course.” 

Linus gulped.

“You’ll find the answers inside.”  The man explained.  “But know that once inside you are on your own.  I will only offer to guide you once or give you an aside.  For I am the greeter.  I will take people to the gates and show them the way to reach their desires, but I am only the gate keeper.  I have no business inside for too long of a time.”

“Gate keeper?”  Linus asked puzzled.  “Gate to where?  And what is inside?”  He stared into the ominous place and shuttered.

“That is for you to discover.”  He said as he gestured into the black maw as Linus unknowingly walked closer.  “The Gate of Perveria is only the starting point.  Beyond that is much more, both wonderful, and horrible at the same time.  There is never a threat of your life, but there is always change.

“So what will you do?  Enter, turn around?”  He asked Linus the questions in a low whisper.  “Just remember, if you truly didn’t want to go, then you wouldn’t have called me here.”

Linus hesitated, faced with an enigma called Perveria.  It sounded… odd.  But what if it could give him something?  After all, there was nothing here anyways. 

“I’ll do it.”  He said as he stepped up to the gate’s threshold.  “Just tell me what I’m trying to do…”

“You are… finding yourself.”  Stated the gate keeper absently.  “All you need to get there is to take the first step.”

Linus nodded once, and picked up his foot, brining it closer to the darkness and the final edge to the world he knew.  With one last deep breath, he moved his foot forward, and was lost to the darkness.